As the 26th of the month started approaching, yesterday morning I started thinking what I could write about this month. Standing in the cold, shivering and freezing, waiting for the bus wishing I was somewhere else many negative thoughts started coming into my mind. I looked around and thought that this is not “me”. This is not what I came on this earth for. Now, what exactly does this mean? Do you sometimes have this feeling that what you are currently doing such as the task you are doing, the job you have, the place you live at, somehow does not match with who you are inside? I have this feeling quite frequently I have to say. Yesterday was no exception. You see, I believe that we all have a purpose and came on this planet for a specific reason. We sometimes can feel and know the purpose right away and sometimes it takes a bit of time.
I believe that I am more and more on the right path and becoming more and more the person I was born to be. I know this because when I do certain things which match my “being”, it feels right, it feels good, it feels I am supposed to be doing exactly this at exactly this moment. I suppose this is because it is the right thing for me. I also believe that we all have different purposes. What feels right to you might not feel right to me and vice versa. So there I was in a situation that did not feel right to me. I did not want to be standing there in the cold waiting for the bus. Normally, many negative thoughts would enter my mind and just make matters worse. However, then I remembered how important gratitude is. On the spur of the moment, I started thinking of things I am grateful for. I started thinking of my health, of the fact that I am safe, that standing there in the cold actually meant that I was going to my job, and most importantly, I was thinking of you. I was thinking of all my dear friends and all the people in my life I love so much. I also started to think about a very specific person I love tremendously and always have. Suddenly, immense warmth filled my heart warming me like a cozy hug on a chilly autumn morning. Suddenly, tears started rolling down my cheek. Not out of sadness but out of gratitude for someone I love with all my heart and soul. As I was thinking of this special person, I felt like “me”. I felt that THIS is the purpose I am here. I am here to LOVE you. I am here for you.
Today, on this so very special day, I bow with gratitude and say thank you. Thank you, for coming into this world, thank you for being you, thank you that you are, and thank you for allowing me to LOVE you. And thank you, God, for giving me the opportunity to realize how grateful I am for that every day, even on a chilly autumn morning.
Copyright © 2013 Barbara Bullock