When I got the news, I almost screamed. Frantically searching for the truth, I kept looking for the “forget it, just a hoax” sign. But there was none. Instead, more and more messages of broken hearts and symbols of sadness started pouring all over. The phone constantly ringing, crying, frantic voices on the other line in disbelief about what just happened. So, sudden, so unexpected, so tragic. This just could not be real. And yet it was. No relief in sight. My first thought was all family and friends. My other thought was how could I possibly live on without you. Unimaginable sorrow came over me. I felt completely helpless. What a nightmare to go through for any parent, sibling, cousin, daughter, son, longtime friend, coworker, neighbor and many more. The truth is, there is no going through. The loss of a loved one is forever. The pain and sorrow will ease over time through the grieving process. However, the question “why” remains forever accompanied by lifelong guilt and perplexity whether there was anything that could have been done on our part to prevent this from happening.
In loving memory of Raymond Craig Turner (1958-2018)
Not long after the terrible news, I dreamed of you, Craig. Thank you for coming into my dream. I am sorry to learn how you were hurting. I hope you find the peace you could not find here back in our spiritual home surrounded by loved ones and the angels. Your soul and heart need a lot of healing and recuperation in our heavenly home now. I am certain that your guardian angels will help you get to the light out of the darkness you seemed to see all around you on earth. Many of us will never get answers to the questions we have. What I know for sure is that this is not the time to judge, blame, nor speculate but a time to forgive and heal. You are the world’s soul brother. We will miss you and love you for eternity. Rest in heaven and peace. Love, Barb
These words are dedicated to Raymond Craig Turner, who tragically ended his life in the summer of 2018. Some of you might know that Craig was the son of Ms. Tina Turner, worldwide known as the “queen of rock ‘n’ roll” with a career spanning over more than half of a century. Many audiences second her accolades earning her numerous, well deserved standing ovations. At this moment, however, in the summer of 2018, at the loss of her son, she was mother Anna Mae, who had to say a heart-wrenching good-bye while scattering her baby’s ashes into the sea off the shore of California. What likely remains are nagging questions about what lead to Craig’s decision, the big why and if there was anything anyone could have done to prevent this from happening in the first place.
The questions that remain
Certainly, not only Ms. Anna Mae is trying to find out why a loved one of hers took his own life. Around the world, one can probably find thousands if not even millions of parents, grandparents, children, grandchildren, siblings, cousins, friends, neighbors, coworkers, even strangers left behind wondering why. Maybe you are one of them. Maybe you know someone who experienced such a loss. Many of us don’t know why someone chooses to commit suicide. Many of us don’t know what emotion, thought, and plan such a decision precedes. I like to call myself as having been born depressed. I have struggled with depression, low self-worth, and yes, even suicidal thoughts at points in my life. I feel I can relate to the desperation that possibly leads to the decision to end it all. While most of us will probably not find immediate answers to the question of why such desperation occurs, there is something we can all do.
September is suicide prevention month. Depression lasts all year.
Sometimes, but not always, depression signals specific signs that could possibly lead to suicide. Once we are more aware of those, perhaps we can be of help to possibly prevent a loved one or even a stranger – out of the goodness of a human, compassionate heart, from leaving the world this way. I believe that we can all learn about suicide and suicide prevention as much as possible. There are many ways you can do so. One of them is by donating to an organization of your choice to learn more about their work and support it.
Fundraiser by cousin Jacquline Renee Bullock – in loving memory of Craig Turner
The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention’s mission is to “save lives and bring hope to those affected by suicide.” Learn the risks and warning signs of suicide and how to prevent it. Please join me support Jacquline Renee Bullock’s fundraiser in loving memory of Craig Turner. By donating and walking you can contribute so we can save lives worth living and support everyone affected by suicide. Let us get together doing our part to help all of our loved ones, the ones lost by suicide, survivors of suicide and loved ones left behind, out of the darkness into the light of life. Life is wonderful. Life is worth living. We are love. You are loved.
To join the walk and/or donate, please visit https://www.facebook.com/donate/932687600406184/3026653264075108/
I love you, Craig Turner. Thank you, Jackie, for your love.
Copyright © 2019 by Barbara Bullock, M.F.A., spiritual writer
Have you been inspired today? Barbarabullock.wordpress.com
Disclaimer: This post is dedicated to Craig Raymond Turner (1958-2018). It states the author’s opinion only for a free personal blog that serves to inspire others and is not meant to represent Mr. Craig Turner, Ms. Tina Turner, nor specific family and friends. It is not meant to No harm or infringement intended. The contents of this blog post are for informational purposes only. The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your mental health professional or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your condition.
If you’re having suicidal thoughts, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) to talk to a skilled, trained counselor at a crisis center in your area at any time (National Suicide Prevention Lifeline). If you are located outside the United States, call your local emergency line immediately.
Works cited: American Foundation for Suicide prevention https://afsp.org